How to Stop Rumors

Reacting Correctly

1

Don't play dumb. Don't act like you have no idea about what people are saying about you. Acting clueless will only make people think the rumors are true. There's no point in acting like you haven't heard the rumors if everyone else in your school or workplace has. Acknowledging that you know a rumor is going around about you is the first step to tackling it.^[2]

• If someone mentions the rumor, you can say, "I've heard that that's been going around" or "I know what people are saying about me."
• Better yet, beat the rumormongers to the punch. If you know a vicious rumor is spreading about you (and fast!) then you can even tell other people who haven't heard yet about it. They'd be more likely to be on your side if they heard it from you, than if they heard it from the rumor mill.

2

Don't let them see how much you care. Avoid acting openly angry, upset, or hurt about the rumors. Even if they really were very mean and painful, if you let yourself get upset publicly, then you'll be letting the other side win. If you really are upset about them, talking to some close friends will help much more than letting the world see you get upset. So keep a stiff upper lip, keep your head high, and don't let them get to you.

• The other thing is, if you act very upset because of the rumors, everyone will be convinced that they are true.

Don't fight fire with fire. Though it may be tempting to fight the rumor with a different rumor, you should take the high road and not fall into the low-life business of spreading rumors. Sure, you can spread a rumor about the person who started it, or spread a completely different rumor just to make people stop talking about you, but if you do this, chances are you'll only make things worse and will look desperate and like you aren't any better than the person or people who spread the rumor to begin with.

• Remember that in the end, you want to come out on top. You want people to respect you and to think that you're a worthy person. If you want to maintain a level of respect even after the vicious rumor is spread, then you have to continue to keep your head high, instead of thinking, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," which will get you nowhere.

4

Talk to an adult or authority figure if you have to. Sure, talking to an adult or your boss about vicious rumors may not be fun, but it can get the person who spread them in trouble and can make you feel better about the situation. If the rumors are being spread at school, for example, and you know exactly who started them, then talking to an authority figure can give the rumor-spreader a good scare and can get the rumors to stop as quickly as possible.

• This is a tricky one. It's up to you to determine whether you need to talk to an adult or if you can handle this on your own.

1. Stand up for yourself. Don't confuse taking a stand for integrity with "being defensive". Since silence is not always so golden, it is good to have some things you can be prepared to say: "I do not believe that is true." or "This appears to be an unfounded (or vicious) rumor. Such things can do a lot of harm." Look people in the eye when you say that.
   • If people ask you about the rumor, you should stand up for yourself no matter what. If you brush it off or act like you don't want to talk about it, then people will believe it's true.
2. Determine what lends credibility to the rumor, and stop it. People are more likely to tell rumors that are plausible, and that hinge on the existence of suggestive evidence. For instance, a rumor about a workplace affair will take off if the two people involved flirt in the office, or sit together every day at lunch. Once you determine what is feeding the rumor, take steps to remove it, if you can.^[3]
   • Don't bother thinking "Well, they shouldn't assume that" or "I should be able to do what I want without them thinking such and such." The point is, they do, and as long as you continue the behavior, the rumor will continue to spread.
   • Of course, if you're doing absolutely nothing to fuel the rumor, then there's nothing to change. And even if you are doing something to potentially cause the rumor, don't be hard on yourself if that's the case!
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Tips

• Above everything, stay calm. People love to see a reaction. You staying calm will help you kill the rumor, and will help you with similar instances in the future.
• Try to act like it doesn't bother you and if it does don't show that it does. Keep your head up high.
• Try to ignore the background noise of people's comments about you. Remember that the rumor will eventually die down.
• Have a good friend to talk to and try and come up with a plan to make sure it isn't about you.
• Talk it out with the person that believed the rumor and tell them what is really going on.
• If it was you who started the rumor in the first place,don't deny it. Instead of reacting to what others will think of you, admit what you did wrong out of character.